I imagine you all thought I would have some pretty strong opinions (and witty comments) about the recent firing of Dan Hawkins. Or the event that preceded this firing (aka the straw that broke the buffaloes back, and that is a lot more straw than you need to break a camel’s back, for those of you who don’t know your animal-deadlift stats). The final straw? The fact that the awful Kansas Jayhawks scored 35, yes 35 unanswered points on my Colorado Buffaloes in under 14 minutes, yes under 14 minutes. I’m not talking about a basketball game, because as my March Madness bracket from last year will tell you, I believe Kansas has a good basketball team (thanks for nothing Jayhawks, I had you going to the final).
Anyway, this was their football team. Yes, the football team with a brand new coach who lost 6-3 in their opener to North Dakota State (sometimes, I forget North Dakota is even a state. Bravo, Kansas, bravo). And just a reminder after seeing that score, first, as previously stated, I’m not talking basketball, and now I will let you know I am not talking soccer, or baseball either, still talking football: 6-3 final score.
Did you know, that before beating my Buffs 52-45 they had scored a total of 40 points in the 4 games preceding it? The opposing teams…. had scored 187 points. So when I use the word “awful” to describe the Jayhawks, I don’t mean to offend them or you, if you're one of the 7.2 Jayhawk football fans. I’m just here to state the facts. If nothing has been obvious to you through this blog I hope you see that I am a neutral party when it comes to all sports. (Yes, that was complete BS). But, my oh my, if the Jayhawks are awful, what does that make the Buffs? I don’t think a thesaurus will help me with that; there isn’t a word that has been created in the English language to describe what they have become. If I were creative enough to make a witty word that combines horrendous, awful, embarrassing, painful, piss-poor, and craptastic…that’s what the Buffs would be. So there is my non-opinion on that.
But like I said earlier, I am practically numb to the pain they cause me when they lose. For a regular fan, or perhaps someone who isn’t a complete sports cynic, this was probably a sucker punch loss, yes the kind that feels like a donkey, possibly a bucking bronco has rammed its hoof into your chest and you have no arms to protect yourself (because you are so excited that you are about to win that your arms are raised above your head because you are 28 points ahead in the 4th quarter and there is no possible way that you can lose, oh wait…). Anyway, piss off Buffaloes, you suck and anger me but cause me no pain. Dan Hawkins, I have no opinion on this, I saw this coming, I’m just surprised it took so long. The Hawk seems like a good coach he just couldn’t handle the wild west (since there are Buffaloes in the wild west?). Anywho, there you go, my opinion-less opinions on the Hawk and the Buffaloes.
So Dan, I will leave you with a great intramural team name for the flag football team you’ll be coaching next year: the Stepfathers you hate us because we beat you. Because ask Cody or the rest of the Big 12, the real father ain't doing no beating.
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I sure hope you don't talk about your real mother this way. There are always disappointments in life, without them you would never know the excitement of success. If you would follow the Wolverines, you would really know a fierce competitor when you meet them.
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